English version
German version
Spanish version
French version
Italian version
Portuguese / Brazilian version
Dutch version
Greek version
Russian version
Japanese version
Korean version
Simplified Chinese version
Traditional Chinese version
Hindi version
Czech version
Slovak version
Bulgarian version
 

My teenaged parents

Baby RSS Feed





Frankly, as a single parent of young children, I struggled. But, as the single parent of teenagers, I stunk! Faced with the reality of children who could (and did) do whatever they really, really wanted to do, I was often baffled.

Functioning as the caregiver of two adult parents, I again find myself baffled. But I am sure of one thing -- It's no wonder many caregivers die before the elders they care for! They simply wear out!

Consider this recent exchange:

ME: "How is that new medication working?"


PARENT: "It doesn't work. I still feel sick."
ME: "OK, call the doctor and tell him."
PARENT: "I can't. He doesn't answer calls on the weekend."
ME: "Well, someone does."
PARENT: "No, they just tell me to go to the emergency room."
ME: "OK, call the doctor's office on Monday."
PARENT: "Well, he doesn't have anything better to offer."
ME: "How do you know?"
PARENT: "He never does."
ME: "Well, call anyway, OK?"
PARENT: "He doesn't pay any attention to me."
ME: "He can't help if he doesn't know you're still sick. So, call, OK?"
PARENT: mumbles something unintelligible.
ME on MONDAY: "Did you call the doctor?"
PARENT: "No, I'm feeling better today."
ME: "Well, how about I go to the doctor with you?"
PARENT: "No, I'm not a child. And I don't want you treating me like one!"

I've run headlong into these issues more and more often of late. It's enough to drive you to drink - or whatever it is you do to deal with unending frustration. After all, these are my parents - and they are adults. . .or at least they used to be.

Could I get help? You can guess the answer! Something about hell freezing over.

I'm not about to win this battle, but I could use a friend during some of the more serious skirmishes. Here are a few things that could really lift my spirits:

Come over. Don't send flowers. They're just something else to take care of. But a home-cooked meal would be great.

Stay and serve it. Even greater!

Call often. Not me, my parents. Give them someone else to vent to.

Be a chauffer. Take them to the doctor, to shop, whatever. Just take them off my hands for a little while.

Start a "Caregiver's Day Out" at your church, synagogue or temple. Give me a break - just a few hours would be wonderful.

Suggest a companion from the Senior Corps. These retired adults spend 10-20 hours each week being a companion to shut-ins. If you're retired, consider becoming one yourself.

Lobby your Representatives and Senators for more funding for Adult Day Care Centers. The nearest one to me is 45 miles away and does not provide transportation.

Some people believe that life is a school with lessons for each of us. If so, my lesson is patience. I know I have to grow it for myself. . .but, please, rally round in the meanwhile. My patience cells are still infants!

About The Author

Phyllis Staff, Ph.D. - Phyllis Staff is an experimental psychologist and the CEO of The Best Is Yet.Net, an internet company that helps seniors and caregivers find trustworthy residential care. She is the author of How to Find Great Senior Housing: A Roadmap for Elders and Those Who Love Them. She is also the daughter of a victim of Alzheimer's disease. Visit the author's web site at http://www.thebestisyet.net

pando19@yahoo.com

Article Source: Messaggiamo.Com





Related:

» Rocket Spanish!
» The Woman Men Adore...
» 500 Lovemaking Tips & Secrets
» All Types Of Wedding Speeches


Webmaster Get Html Code
Add this article to your website now!

Webmaster Submit your Articles
No registration required! Fill in the form and your article is in the Messaggiamo.Com Directory!

Add to Google RSS Feed See our mobile site See our desktop site Follow us on Twitter!

Submit your articles to Messaggiamo.Com Directory

Categories


Copyright 2006-2011 Messaggiamo.Com - Site Map - Privacy - Webmaster submit your articles to Messaggiamo.Com Directory [0.01]
Hosting by webhosting24.com
Dedicated servers sponsored by server24.eu