English version
German version
Spanish version
French version
Italian version
Portuguese / Brazilian version
Dutch version
Greek version
Russian version
Japanese version
Korean version
Simplified Chinese version
Traditional Chinese version
Hindi version
Czech version
Slovak version
Bulgarian version
 

A lawyers favorite lawyer jokes

Articles RSS Feed





Lawyer Jokes

Q: How does a pregnant woman know she is carrying a future lawyer?

A: She has an extreme craving for baloney.

Q: What is the legal definition of "Appeal"?

A: Something a person slips on in a grocery store.

Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

A: To practice.

Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 12?

A: Your Honor.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

A: The lawyer charges more.

Q: What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

A: The caterer.

Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

A: If one side has one, the other side has to get one.

Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

A: An offer you can't understand.

Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad?

A: Senator

Q: Did you hear they just released a new Barbie doll called "Divorced Barbie"?

A: It comes with half of Ken's things and alimony.

Q: What's the difference between an attorney and a pit bull?

A: Jewelry.

Q: What's the definition of mixed emotions?

A: Watching your attorney drive over a cliff in your new Ferrari.

Q: What's the difference between lawyers and accountants?

A: At least accountants know they're boring.

Stories:

1. A man who had been caught embezzling millions went to a lawyer. His lawyer told him, "Don't worry. You'll never go to jail with all that money? In fact, when the man was sent to prison, he didn't have a dime.

2. As the lawyer awoke from surgery, he asked, "Why are all the blinds drawn?" The nurse answered, "There's a fire across the street, and we didn't want you to think you had died."

3. God decided to take the devil to court and settle their differences once and for all. Satan heard this, laughed and said, "And where do you think you're going to find a lawyer?"

4. A lawyer is sitting at the desk in his new office. He hears someone coming to the door. To impress his first potential client, he picks up the phone as the door opens and says, "I demand one million and not a penny less." As he hangs up, the man now standing in his office says, "I'm here to hook up your phone."

And finally:

You Might Be A Lawyer If.... You are charging someone to read these jokes.

Richard Chapo is a San Diego business lawyer with http://www.sandiegobusinesslawfirm.com and is rumored to have a sense of humor. Then again, you never know with rumors.

Article Source: Messaggiamo.Com





Related:

» Home Made Power Plant
» Singorama
» Criminal Check
» Home Made Energy


Webmaster Get Html Code
Add this article to your website now!

Webmaster Submit your Articles
No registration required! Fill in the form and your article is in the Messaggiamo.Com Directory!

Add to Google RSS Feed See our mobile site See our desktop site Follow us on Twitter!

Submit your articles to Messaggiamo.Com Directory

Categories


Copyright 2006-2011 Messaggiamo.Com - Site Map - Privacy - Webmaster submit your articles to Messaggiamo.Com Directory [0.01]
Hosting by webhosting24.com
Dedicated servers sponsored by server24.eu